Conspicuous
by SleevedWhiteSnow
Summary: Everyone had seen it coming from a world away, literally. They just hadn't expected them to be quite so... conspicuous about it. WINNER OF LADYGRAY'S BEST HUMOUR ONE-SHOT 2014


**AN: A re-upload from my other account which I no longer use. Sorry to those of you who've reviewed and favorited this before.**

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Everyone had seen it coming from a world away, literally. They just hadn't expected them to be quite so… conspicuous about it.

Uryuu had been the first to make the call, way back when Ichigo had accepted Urahara's training (well actually, _Urahara_ had realized it well before that, but you know, he doesn't usually share his secrets so we'll give Uryuu the credit on this one). It was so painstakingly obvious, he would have bet his sacred quincy powers that if it didn't happen eventually, he'd accept the title of biggest idiot in all of three worlds.

Orihime hesitantly (begrudgingly) agreed. As for how, she believed it would be under a beautiful sunset with bunnies and meadows and rainbows and cloud-gazing. Oh, and there would be cherry blossoms too, because cherry blossoms are breath-taking and beautiful and super romantic!

It hadn't taken long for Chad and Renji to notice after that. They'd put in their bets (mostly to the latter's amusement) and finally reached an agreement on the currency (yen, since there was more to buy in the world of the living). Chad believed the event of him winning said bet would take place during the aftermath of the final battle in which Ichigo saved everyone – 'cause, well, Ichigo _will_ save everyone, won't he? Emotions would be high, there'd be no explosions to interrupt anything, all sorts of ends would be tied, and, well, there would have to be a hero-gets-his-girl-moment somewhere in that equation, right? They would both be covered in cuts and bruises, surrounded by mangled corpses and all their surviving friends would be watching, but they would have eyes only for each other as they kissed. Yeah… it would be like that.

Renji had scoffed at Chad's idea – at least, the part about it being _after_ the fight. The two were practically all over each other already, they just had to take their freaky eye-sex to the next level and move on from looks to touches. Surely that wouldn't take another war to achieve. And of course they wouldn't get together in public. Dead bodies maybe, but not in front of everyone else. Though yes, Chad was certainly right about the eyes…

Captain Kyoraku said that perhaps it had _already_ happened and everyone had just missed it because Ichigo and Rukia were always subtle with their true feelings. Either they'd confessed in secret some time ago and should be highly commended for their acting, or they're just the sort of couple who isn't touchy-feely. His lieutenant begged to differ. Surely this wouldn't be something anyone could miss even if they were in dreamland most of the day.

Captain Hitsugaya figured that if Ichigo and Rukia hadn't gotten together by now, it probably wasn't going to happen at all. And maybe Rangiku and Izuru had had too much sake again because they laughed at his statement as though it was the funniest thing ever before rambling on about some familiar situation. Oh well, at least Momo didn't get it either, and speaking of not getting things, he'd never understood why Rangiku called the pair "cute." The height difference for one was an obvious concern – poor Rukia (Momo) would end up twinging her neck as she leans up (down) to kiss her boyfriend- _okay seriously guys, what's so funny?_

Yumichika personally believed Rukia could do better, but hey, one can't deny the first kiss would be magnificent. Their orange and raven hair complement each other beautifully, and Ichigo's strong arms wrapped tightly around her slender form coupled with that adorable gentleness they express only with each other and oh my, even their zanpakuto are so fitting together! Oh yes, we can't forget their beautiful swords! Ichigo would have one hand on Zangetsu's hilt, his other around Rukia, and Zangetsu's tip would be touching the ground while Rukia holds the complementary Sode no Shirayuki with her arms thrown around Ichigo's neck, her zanpakuto's ribbon flowing around them in pure elegance. So beautiful!

Ikkaku gagged at his friend's disgusting fantasy. He reckoned Ichigo was too focused on fighting to even spare any thought for such dramas as romantic relationships (he himself certainly didn't). If Ichigo and Rukia were to "get together" as everyone was saying, he was sure of at least one thing – it'd involve a series of name-calling (not that that wasn't already out of the ordinary), threats (same story), headlocks (a little less common, but still…), and probably a lot of tonguing. Yeah… some good old-fashioned tongue battle sounds nice.

Byakuya didn't have (want) an opinion to give on the matter.

Captain Ukitake's never really been one to express personal concern either, but he seriously wished they would just get the hell on with it and confess their feelings already, because sometimes when they were both in the room there was so much sexual tension that he found it difficult to breathe (this isn't due to illness, Captain Unohana, nothing to be concerned about). The rest of Soul Society agreed.

So the how was up for debate, but the happening was certainly inevitable.

And then it unexpectedly came one afternoon as Ichigo was about to return to the living world. It had started off perfectly normal – he said his goodbyes to everyone, spent the majority of the time gazing at Rukia, and then he turned to follow his friends through the Senkaimon.

On any ordinary day it would have ended there. But as Ichigo was about to run through the gate, he paused, and turned back around. The captains, lieutenants and other beings present watched in surprise as he stepped towards Rukia and she lifted an eyebrow and shot him a strange look, seemingly unfazed by their close proximity.

"Need something?" she asked.

"You," he breathed, and in a single step closed the distance between them, crushing their lips together with all their wide-eyed comrades in view. She responded with no astonishment at all, stood on the tips of her toes and ran her hands through his hair as she pulled him further down to her level.

Then she sunk back onto her heels as he straightened up and turned to the Senkaimon again, strutting directly past a gaping Uryuu and disappearing into the white light of the void between two worlds.

Gradually, the startled shinigami turned their gazes to their 13th division lieutenant. A subtle smile played on Rukia's lips for a moment before she spun on her heel and left the court, completely oblivious to Renji's dazed expression and the uncharacteristic shock on Kyoraku's face.

A few moments later Kenpachi arrived, zanpakuto drawn and Yachiru riding on his shoulder. "You mean I _missed_ it?!" he exclaimed, staring at the open air where the Senkaimon had been. "Why didn't anyone tell me?!"

His fellow shinigami ignored him, mouths ajar, staring back and forth between said spot and Rukia's shrinking form in the distance.

"No way," Ikkaku muttered to himself in a stupefied repeat, clearly unashamed of the ridiculous look on his face. Next to him, an equally dumbfounded Renji was whimpering like a startled puppy.

On his other side, Yumichika looked like he was about to faint.

"Um… Kenny?" Yachiru whispered, "I don't think they realize you mean that you wanted to fight Ichi."

She was right. Her captain drew his eyes from the vacant air, looked around at his comrades, and then followed their gaze to the petite raven-haired soul reaper heading towards her headquarters. He sighed in disbelief and rolled his eyes, temple bulging in irritation.

"What the hell's the matter with you idiots? Have you never seen a man kiss his girlfriend goodbye?"

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